


Lonely No More

by AuroraNova



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-03 01:37:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6591343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraNova/pseuds/AuroraNova
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I guess they didn’t quite send me back the same, or it’s some effect of de-ascension. Now if I’m alone too long I feel trapped in my own body.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I had envisioned this as part of a longer story which I've long since abandoned, but I think it stands alone well so I'm posting. 
> 
> Goes AU very early in season 7, right after “Homecoming, Part 3.” Jack’s bad knee forced him off field duty; he now helps Hammond with the increasingly complex running of SGC. Daniel opted not to rejoin a gate team but has resumed work as head of the Archaeology & Linguistics department.

“You’re quiet tonight,” observed Jack, peering over the top of his paperback _Jurassic_ _Park_.

Daniel stuck a bookmark in between the pages he’d been unable to focus on. “I’m officially back from the dead now. General Hammond said the paperwork was unbelievable.”

“That’s not surprising. Your lack of enthusiasm is the surprise.”

He hadn’t figured he’d be able to fool Jack. “I never used to get lonely,” he admitted.

“Before you went all glowy?”

He nodded.

“But now…” prompted Jack.

“I guess they didn’t quite send me back the same, or it’s some effect of de-ascension. Now if I’m alone too long I feel trapped in my own body.” This annoyed and frustrated him to no end, since he was used to enjoying his own company, but he’d yet to find a solution to the problem.

The good thing about talking with Jack was that he didn’t push. Daniel really didn’t want to analyze this new tendency to loneliness. Jack replied, “Okay. But what does this have to do with being officially alive?”

“I think you’re probably ready to have your life – and your house – back.” The confession came out quietly, but at least he’d been able to say the words.

Jack’s eyebrows rose. “What, do you think you’re interfering with some secret social life I developed while you were gone?”

“No, but…”

“Daniel, you don’t have to run out and look for a new apartment. You’re welcome to stay here as long as you want.”

“That’s generous of you.”

“Mi casa es tu casa.”

He wondered how long that would last. Jack wouldn’t want a roommate forever, would he? Daniel thought back to how strained their friendship had gotten. So far, he’d seen no sign of that unpleasantness, but what if it came back? Well, that would probably cure the loneliness pretty quickly.

“I know I was an ass before, Daniel, and I’m really sorry about that. That Jack O’Neill won’t be making any more appearances, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“The thought crossed my mind,” he said, because he thought Jack might possibly be willing to talk about it and maybe, if they could figure out what went wrong, they could prevent it from happening again. 

Jack set down _Jurassic_ _Park_ _._ “I was going to wait,” he said. “I know you deserve to know, but I was going to wait until you could escape to your own place. Guess you can always crash at Carter’s.”

When no explanation was forthcoming, Daniel prompted, “Escape what?”

“Me.”

“I really don’t…”

“Just let me try to get this out without screwing it up, okay?”

That was fair enough, and considering how much Jack disliked emotional discussions, this had to be extremely important to him. Daniel nodded and waited while Jack stared at his stereo system.

Jack finally managed to look, if not at Daniel, in his general vicinity. “I’m not proud of this, but I can’t change it. I had a lot of time to think while you were in Glowy Land, and I realized how badly I’d screwed up. I fell in love with you, and I handled it damned badly. I was so worried about it changing things with the team that I pushed you away and changed things, alright. For the worse.”

It took a few seconds for that to really register with Daniel, by which time Jack was back to looking at his stereo. After all the time… after all his own hopes, dreams, and fears… surely he’d misheard. “Love? Me?”

“Fucked up way to show it, I know.”

He felt that some comment was required here, but Daniel really didn’t know where to begin. He settled for, “Ah, was this a new experience for you?” Because that might explain some things.

“You mean loving a man? Yes. Being attracted to a man? No. I used to go both ways. Long time ago. Before Sara.”

That was interesting. Very interesting. It also raised Daniel’s hopes. “What exactly are you expecting from this conversation?”

Jack shrugged. “Nothing in particular. I just figured you deserved to know.”

That wasn’t very helpful. “Okay. Best case scenario?”

“You don’t hate me. We stay friends.”

Daniel was a bit surprised at his own disappointment. “So this is past tense then?”

“The being an ass part is. The rest, no.”

“You still?”

“Love you? Yeah.”

“And yet your best case scenario is remaining friends.” This perplexed Daniel.

“Never had any reason to expect more,” replied Jack.

There was that. Daniel felt it was time to mention something. “I’m not entirely straight.”

Jack looked a bit optimistic and finally managed to make eye contact. “Really? You never said.”

“Neither did you.”

“I’m career military, Daniel. It’s not something I can talk about.”

“I know. Anyway, I’ve dated here and there. Nothing serious ever developed. Not because they were men. Just because it wasn’t right.”

“So you’re not running out the door, and you’re not against dating a guy. After the way I handled things, I still don’t think I have a right to expect you’d be interested in me.” Jack’s voice was a bit unsteady at the end, betraying the depth of his emotions.

It was clearly time for Daniel to put all his cards on the table. “You aren’t the only one responsible. I made mistakes as well.”

“There’s a difference between mistakes and colossal fuck-ups. Which is what I did.”

“Did you ever wonder why I never called you on it?”

“Uh, not really. Kinda figured you thought I was a hopeless case.”

He shook his head. “I thought maybe you’d realized that my feelings for you weren’t entirely platonic.” How was it he could face down System Lords, but had never managed to confront Jack about the deterioration of their friendship? Daniel was ashamed of his own cowardice.

Jack just stared.

“We both made mistakes and assumptions. I think maybe it’s time to move on and stop wasting time.” Yes, he’d been incredibly hurt when Jack pushed him away. But he hadn’t been blameless, either, and since he’d been back Daniel once again realized how good they could be together.

“That sounds like a good plan,” said Jack. A disbelieving smile took up residence on his face. “A really good plan.”

When Jack got up, Daniel was expecting to be joined on the couch. Instead his – boyfriend, now? – reached for the phonebook.

“What are you doing?”

Jack flipped through the yellow pages with great purpose. “Making dinner reservations. Tomorrow night sound good?”

“Jack, you don’t need to…”

“Yes, I do.” He stated this with absolute conviction. “I need to show you how it can be when I’m handling it well.”

If it meant so much to Jack, that was okay. Daniel didn’t need to be wined and dined, but he wasn’t really opposed to the idea either. Besides, he’d had a nice fantasy scenario for years where he put together a basket of gourmet foods and the two of them enjoyed a romantic, secluded picnic. He knew the place to get the gourmet foods, so he’d just need a basket… “Tomorrow sounds great. Just keep Saturday free.”

Jack grinned. “No problem.”

Once the reservation was made, Jack sat down on the couch. “I want to do this right, Daniel. Not rush it.”

“Good idea.” He was still wrapping his head around the idea that they were together. As tempting as the prospect of tumbling into bed together was, Daniel knew he at least needed to process this change a bit more.

“You know we have to be discreet.”

“Of course.” It went without saying. “I hope we can reach a point where you’ll be comfortable telling Sam and Teal’c. But I know discretion is important, and that we have to be careful not to let our personal lives impact our work.”

“Any more than they already do,” pointed out Jack. “That should be easier now, though. Would’ve been a hell of a lot harder in the field. As for telling Carter and Teal’c – I’ll think about it, okay?”

“That’s all I ask.”

“In the interest of doing this right, I’m gonna go to bed early before I do something I’ll regret later.”

As much as Daniel wanted to protest, he knew Jack was right. He settled for grabbing Jack’s hand and giving it a quick kiss. “Goodnight, Jack.”

“Night, Daniel.”

Jack walked towards his bedroom looking happier than he’d been in a long time. Daniel recognized the feeling.


	2. Chapter 2

Daniel felt it was important not to neglect his friendships because of his relationship with Jack. Besides, he’d promised Sam that, since they didn’t have adventures together offworld anymore, they’d still see each other plenty on Earth. He loved Sam dearly, in a platonic and brotherly sense.

However, he was beginning to wish he’d suggested an alternative to the corn maze. Voluntarily getting lost among dead stalks of corn hadn’t sounded like a promising way to spend a Sunday afternoon, but he’d let Sam talk him into it. That was starting to look like a mistake.

“What are you thinking about for your new place?” she asked.

He’d known this conversation was coming. “I’m not.”

Sam gave him a quizzical look.

“Right or left?” he asked.

She examined the cornstalk intersection. “Left?”

Daniel wondered if he should’ve listened to Jack and brought a compass. As they turned, he explained, “Since I’ve been back, if I’m alone too long, I feel trapped in my own body. It’s lonely. Jack and I talked, and he said I’m welcome to stay with him.”

“That’s… good?” asked Sam.

“Yes.”

“Okay. If you ever need a break from the colonel, you’re welcome to stay with me.”

“Thanks.”

They could hear the voices of other people lost in the maze. One young girl seemed to expect that dried corn stalks would have popcorn. Daniel wasn’t sure how she’d reasoned that.

“Getting lonely, leaving SG-1. Has anything else changed for you?” Sam asked.

“There is one other thing,” he ventured. “I’ve decided I want my life to be more than researching other people’s lives. I want to leave the mountain more and find someone to share it with.”

Sam nodded. “It’s hit me in the last few weeks, too. This whole idea of wanting a relationship and a life outside SGC.”

“Wouldn’t that be about the same time Matt arrived?”

She actually blushed a little. Matt Jefferson was SG-8’s new archaeologist. He and Sam flirted at every available opportunity. Daniel would have to encourage the man to ask Sam out sooner rather than later.

"I was surprised," she said slowly. He could tell she was choosing her words carefully. "I'd thought I felt something for the colonel. When Matt started flirting, it made me stop and think. Can you really picture me and the colonel together?"

"No." For so many reasons, of course, but even before he and Jack got together, he'd never thought Jack and Sam would be a good couple. They worked well together on SG-1, but he couldn't see them managing a romance without growing to resent each other.

"I think we were playing a game," Sam admitted. "We were lonely but not ready for something real. I," here she paused, as though the truth pained her, "I was afraid of getting hurt again after Jonas. I don't know what the colonel's reasons were. Maybe he wasn't completely over his ex? It's really none of my business anyway. The point is, we picked each other because we **wouldn't** happen. He was safe for me. Sure, there was a mild physical attraction, but everything else we just, well, made up."

Daniel wondered if he was part of Jack's reason for the game with Sam. He suspected that was the case, but couldn't very well mention that to her. So he simply stated, "You're ready to move on now."

"Yes. I think he is too. Actually, I think he realized it a few months ago."

While Daniel was still ascended, when Jack figured out how things had gotten so screwed up. Daniel was now certain he was the reason Jack played the game with Sam. Because Jack was trying to deny his own feelings for Daniel, or because he figured Daniel was straight - it hardly mattered which.

“He’s a good man and a good officer. I learned a lot from him, and I’m lucky to have him mentoring me for my first command. I think we’re even friends, in a strange way.”

“More like family. Our own SG-1 family,” suggested Daniel.

“You’re right. People you wouldn’t necessarily pick as your friends, who become part of your life. But,” Sam concluded, "I've decided I deserve to find someone to really love, who loves me. Colonel O'Neill isn't that man, but I hope he finds a woman who appreciates him."

He nodded. "Do you think Matt could be that man?"

"It's possible," she said. "Let's just say I'm open to finding out. Anyway, enough about me. You’ll find someone and make her a very happy woman. We’ll just have to make sure she knows how special you are.” That last sentence was Sam in sister mode.

He decided this would be a good chance to test the proverbial waters. “Maybe. I’m also open to making someone a very happy man.”

Sam stopped. “Either or?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.” She started walking again, leading them to the right.

“Does that bother you?”

“It would have a few years ago. Now, after everything we’ve seen…” she gave him a hug. “It’s a surprise, but I just want you to be happy, Daniel.”

Daniel hugged right back. “That means a lot to me.”

“I still get to make sure a guy deserves you, right?”

“If you insist.”

“Oh, I will.”

“I figured.”

She grinned, even when they realized they were in a dead end. “Have I told you how good it is to have you back?”

“I’ve lost count how many times.”

“Well, it is.”

He knew that Sam wanted everything back, with the team the way they had been. But Daniel understood that, as his father used to say, that ship had sailed. There was no way to go back. Not after Daniel reflected on how unhappy he’d been the last year before he ascended. True, some of it was the strain with Jack, but a lot of it was his dissatisfaction with the harsh reality that he was more soldier than explorer. There was no way to go back to innocence on a frontline team any more than there was a way to go back and undo the incident where Jack’s knee gave out during a race back to the gate.

Daniel was used to the idea that he could not go back. Besides, it had silver linings. For one thing, his relationship with Jack. He seriously doubted that either of them would have dared risk it while they were both on SG-1.

“I’m glad to be back.” And he meant it now. The doubts were gone. At first he’d wondered: if he couldn’t remember being ascended, how could he know if it was good to be back? Finally he’d realized that he was happy, and that was what mattered.

Daniel understood at last. Sometimes, the meaning of life could be as simple as living.


End file.
